Lack of Confidence


Have you wondered why the lack of self-confidence occurs?a0001_016469
It is my personal interpretation: the lack of confidence comes from the scarcity or anxiety due to lack of experience.
If it’s true, there is only one solution, getting more experience and accustomed it.
“Experience” = “trying new things” also bring us another fear. What do we feel fear for? It is a failure. Because we cannot expect a good outcome from the first try, we tend to think about failure.
But is it really the reason? At least in my case, I am not afraid of failing something. I am afraid of how other people think about my failure. It is my fear how other people see me. Do they think me as weak or inferior? I don’t want them to put a “failure” label on me.
Let’s think about the other side.
Do I change my view of my friend, family, or whoever I know if he/she failed something? Honestly, it doesn’t matter to me whether he/she failed or not. Of course, if he/she becomes deeply depressed or get drowned in some addiction, I care and step in to help him/her. But, if the person seems okay and is moving on or making another challenge, I rather respect his/her mental strength like
“He/She is amazing!” or “He/She is really a hard worker!”
Each of us creates the condition of no self-confidence, not someone else makes you feel it. We constitute the story of failure and are hurting ourselves.

How about no confidence coming from comparison with someone?

For example, someone says “Compared with the person A, my experience/knowledge/skill is not sufficient enough.” Perhaps the A has more particular experiences than you. But first, you should know the person A was in the same situation as you before. Also, if you try to follow the person A’s shadow and do whatever he/she did to meet the same quality, you will never get the same destination as him/her. The path the person A created was only for him/her. It is not the route for you.
It is not a perfect example but let me explain. Mr. A reached the particular destination by a motorcycle. He might be able to take a narrow alley because he rode a bike. You don’t have a motorcycle license like Mr. A. However; you have a car. So, you can get the same destination but will take different routes and see a different scenery (experience).
The different view (= experience) gives you uniqueness and difference between you and Mr. A. You build your skills and knowledge.
Surely you ended up to have something that Mr. A does not have.

When we feel a lack of self-confidence, we focus on the skills and knowledge that we don’t have.
Many of us say, “I cannot do because I don’t know.”
Instead, we should check what we have already. The things we thought as junk can be a unique tool unexpectedly.


  • Each of us creates a lack of self-confidence by ourselves.
  • People are not so much interested in other’s failure or success
  • Don’t focus on what you don’t have. Focus on what you have already









例えば、「Aさんに比べたら、私のスキルなんて」と自信をなくす。もちろんAさんの方が特定の経験があるのかもしれません。でもAさんにも初めの一歩があったはず。そしてAさんと全く同じ方法で経験を積もうと思ったら、きっといつになってもA さんには敵わない。なぜなら、Aさんの作り上げた道は、あなたにとって簡単に通れるルートではないはずだから。




  • 自信がないは自分が作りだしたもの
  • 他人はそんなに他の人の失敗や成功に関心はない
  • ないものに焦点をあてるのではなく、あるものをもう一度振り返ってみる

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